It takes two to tango, but that's not just with dancing. Too many couples lose sight of what this statement means in a relationship. Yes it takes two to dance, to make love, and to create a child; however, some people don't think about what else "takes two" in a relationship. Here is a list that I have created to show what "takes two" in a relationship.
1) Communication - Communication is one of the most important parts of every relationship; however, somewhere along the line it slowly withers and dies between couples. Usually this happens when something changes giving both people nothing to talk about. Spouses should be the one person that each can confide in and talk to about anything and everything. People who are in relationships or married don't want their communication to consist of what bills need to be paid, how the day was for each other, or what needs to be picked up while out of the house. Spouses want to know what each other is feeling or thinking. If you are upset or mad, most likely your spouse wants to know why you are mad or upset? What caused you to be mad or upset? How can they help you feel better? Most of all were they the cause of you to being mad or upset? If you don't tell them, they will just walk around feeling bad because they don't know what to do. If they were the cause of you getting mad or upset, tell them what they did. If you don't tell them what they did, then how do you expect them to fix it or what not to do again?
2) Cleaning - If one person is always cleaning by himself or herself, without any help, they will start feeling resentment toward their spouse. This will not only cause a large amount of tension between the couple but also hinder the couple’s communication, if it’s not discussed. If a couple cleans together, the time it would take for one person to clean would be cut in half leaving the couple more time to do other things that may need to be done or even give them quality time to spend with one another. If your spouse is not feeling well, step up to the plate and take care of the things that would normally be done by the two of you. If you wait for them to get better and leave them with all the cleaning, you will cause your spouse to feel more resentment towards you.
3) Children - This one is common sense, but I'm going to include it because there are some spouses who believe that it's the woman's job to care for the children. It takes "two to tango" and create children, so it would be common sense that it takes two to raise, provide, and care for children. This includes changing a diaper, feeding, changing, bathing, and everything else that comes with caring for a baby/child. Some spouses believe that when their spouse chooses to be a stay at home parent they should take care of the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and anything else that needs to be done. Most of the time when a parent chooses to stay at home that's usually the way things are whether it's expected or not. A parent does not receive a paycheck every week for being a stay at home parent. They are not given sick pay, vacations, pensions or anything else they would receive at a regular 40 + hours a week job. A stay at home parent is on call 24/7/365 unless their spouse or family member decides to give them a break. A break is something every stay at home parent needs. No one should be expected to do everything on his or her own 24/7/365. If anyone is expected to do anything 24/7/365 they start to wear down, their patience will wear thin, and they will become resentful of their spouse who doesn't do anything.
4) Respect - In order to have a relationship you have to respect one another. If one spouse disrespects their spouse, how can they expect their spouse to respect them. Respect in a relationship means that each person values whom the other is and understands, and would never challenge, the other person's boundaries. If a person doesn't like something their spouse does, their spouse will show respect by not doing it again. Flaws are a part of a relationship and the ability to accept each flaw is allowing the respect to build between the couple. Respect is also built by showing your true self throughout the entire relationship, and not changing who you are in order to please your spouse or friends. In order for you to have respect for another person you must first have respect for yourself.
5) Trust - No relationship can survive without trust. It is the foundation on which a relationship is built. If you do not trust a person, your relationship will feel like an empty well. In order to help maintain trust in a relationship you must be reliable and follow through on your promises, no matter what size they are. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Set boundaries and do not cross the boundaries you and your spouse set. If you both agree that flirting with another person is not okay, then don't flirt.
6) Sex - Yes this is an important part of a long term relationship and does take two, however, it can often be used as a wall in relationships. When relationships are lacking in other areas, couples tend to put their focus on sex in order to avoid what needs to be worked on. Instead of talking to their spouse they may choose to have sex with them instead. If there is already a trust issue in the relationship, you can not expect your spouse to want to have sex with you. If you push sex in the relationship you will most likely push your relationship over the edge to meet its doom.
Every relationship is supposed to be 50/50. If one person gives less, then the spouse starts feeling used and that all they are good for is what they have been doing whether it is cook, clean or take care of the children. If your relationship starts to feel as if it is one sided, speak up and talk to your spouse and find a solution, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
“The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together.” -Barbara De Angelis
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